Funny Little Johnny Joke

Little Johnny Meets Obama

Little Johnny is at it again... President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered:

'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'> 'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.' The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.

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Funny Glass of Water Joke

Glass of Water

One night a father sent his son upstairs to bed. Five
minutes later the boy screamed, ''Dad! Can you get me a
glass of water!?!''

''No. You had your chance. Be quiet and go to sleep.''

A minute later the boy screamed, ''Dad!! Can you PLEASE get
me a glass of water?''

''No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come up
there and spank you.''

A minute later the boy yelled, ''Dad, when you come up to
spank me can you bring me a glass of water?''


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Funny Lil' Johnny Joke

Buying a horse

Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
horses' legs, rump and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop,
why are you doing that?"

"Because I'm buying horses. I have to make sure they are healthy, and
in good shape before I buy."

Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right
away."

"Why?", said his father.

"Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy
mom!"


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Funny Hiring Joke

Are You Hiring?

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are
you hiring any help?" she asked.

"No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need."

"Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?" she said


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Funny Bachelor Joke

A Guide To Food Spoilage For Bachelors.....

Eggs: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg
is probably past its prime.

Meat: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a 3
block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

Flour: If it wiggles...it's spoiled.

Lettuce: Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom
of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when
it turns liquid.

Raisins: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

Potatoes: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches or dense, leafy
undergrowth.

Chip dip: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the
floor, it has gone bad.

Unmarked item: You know its well beyond its prime when you're tempted
to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking,
Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

Frozen food: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the
defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be
spoiled (or wrecked, anyway) by the time you pry them out with a
hammer and knife.



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